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Dearly Beloved,
As we all know, a major election occurred. It has evoked strong feelings among many of us, and those feelings are OK. For those who are experiencing loss, many of those feelings are what we sometimes label “negative”; feelings like sadness, fear, hopelessness, anger, hostility.
In this context, these are not negative feelings to be tamped down or quickly expunged. They are the reality of grief, and it is important to feel it. And for those who are experiencing victory, it is perhaps even more important to go the extra mile loving our sisters and brothers who are feeling these things, understanding things from their perspective, and offering whole-hearted support accordingly.
Most of you know I have two very liberal daughters, and this is a group of people who are experiencing particular suffering and pain right now. I asked them what they need to hear from the church; what they think needs to be said.
Christine responded: "I think encouraging people to get off their screens / social media feeds and get out into community. Hope is a choice, not a feeling. If we are watching the world 'happen to us' through the buffer of a screen, we feel helpless and horrified. We miss the ways we can be tangibly helpful to the people around us in our immediate communities.
Worried about all the vitriol and hate towards immigrants and refugees? Sponsor an immigrant family! Worried about the education department being abolished? Tutor at a local school! Worried about rights for women and LGBTQ folks? Help at a LGBTQ resource center! Make kits for women fleeing from domestic violence! We can’t always change the systems that keep people down, but we can do tangible things to lift people up. We might not be able to make things right, but we can make them better than they were."
As a father, I love the hope in that, the refusal to be a victim and concede her sense of agency, and the way she continues to stand strong as a powerful woman.
In so many ways, perspective is everything. My son-in-law, Kevin, is an accomplished therapist who has a real heart for the practical. Responding to the same question, he wrote:
"If people are looking for practical approaches to reduce their distress, perspective taking is one of my favorite concrete skills:
Challenge people to "zoom out" of this moment in history to manage their feelings. The overwhelm is worse when we are sucked in and we lose sight of how this moment fits into the broader context of humanity. There were centuries of US politics before this moment, millennia of global politics before this moment, billions of people outside of the USA living with the limitations and flaws of their own government systems, etc. This moment, and indeed our own lives are one grain of sand on a beach."
An article I have found particularly helpful: Do Presidents Even Matter? Meet the Unsung Heroes Who Make Real Change Happen. I want to express my deepest appreciation to all of you who are unsung heroes. You are one of the biggest reasons I continue to approach the future with great hope.
Finally, if there is anything I can do to be helpful to you, please let me know. Don’t go it alone—or let your kids go it alone. That is the one path that really will not work.
As always, please know that I love you, love listening to you, and that you always have an important place in my heart.
With much love and affection,
Rob+
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